Its so funny how I wrote about family yesterday.. how family will let you down but how I am in no position to judge them ...
So I find out that someone who has meant so much to me, blood, someone who I would bend over backwards for.. and have! someone who I have trusted and have been hurt and demolished because of... Someone who I defend tooth and nail because I want to believe that the person I KNOW she can be.. is what she is GOING to be.. or I convinced myself.. she was.
I dont want to elaborate on the situation because its really not all that important...
I just wish things wernt the way they were sometimes.. I wish my family wasnt so damaged.
I know that God has a reason for everything, I know that every trial I have faced has only helped me grow into the person I am now.. I know that God loves me and wouldnt do anything to just hurt me for the fun of it... I know this. And I know that I am to turn the other cheek... Twice if I have to.
But because I am human and I am a sinner there are things that I feel.. like I wish my family wasnt so damaged.. I wish that half the things that had happend.. didnt. I wish that my Mom was still here and that it was her standing by my fathers side... I wish that the bonds I thought I had with my family .. were real. I wish alot of things.....
It would be easier.. of course.... it would be so much easier to be able to always get along with your loved ones.. and not feel like theres always someone you have to watch out for .. or someone you need to tip toe around. Gosh, I just wish we were normal..
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"Its not always that easy to distinguish the good guys from the bad guys, sinners can surprise you and the same is true for saints, why do we try to define people as good or evil? Because no one wants to admit that passion and cruelty can live side by side in one heart and that anyone.. is capable of anything."
I am fairly Agile,..I can bend and not break, or I can break and take it with a smile
"Its not always that easy to distinguish the good guys from the bad guys, sinners can surprise you and the same is true for saints, why do we try to define people as good or evil? Because no one wants to admit that passion and cruelty can live side by side in one heart and that anyone.. is capable of anything."
Blog Archive
Sarah Melissa Bray
- ......... Just little old me .........
- I’m 24 yrs old, I’m a very straight forward person, I can be stubborn and defensive at times,.. but I’m working on it. I live in MASS for the time being.. I am a firm believer in Christ. Although I dont show it much these days. My life has been a pretty insane roller coaster, but I’m not ashamed of it. I love to read and write, and I’m obsessed with quotes :), typical girl I know. I am going to be brutally honest in here,.. I figure the only way to be real is to just let it all out.. so bear with me.
Such Simple Words
"When I get honest, I admit I am a bundle of paradoxes. I believe and I doubt, I hope and get discouraged, I love and I hate, I feel bad.. about feeling good, I feel guilty about not feeling guilty, I am trusting and suspicious, I am honest.. and still play games."
"Do you believe in magic? I never use to.. I mean .. how could I? 14 and your Mom dies, you hope against hope for magic, something to make it all better. It never comes,.. and you look for your father who's unable to overcome all his tragic flaws,.. well no abracadabra there. And there them.. well any magic that was there, that ran out didnt it?!.. But then.. theres HIM.. Thers proof that someone out there is thinking of me.. My friend.. who was with me always.. Its pure Magic."
"Any fool can love somebody whos perfect, somebody who does everything right. But that doesnt stretch your soul.. Your soul only gets stretched when you can still love after they have hurt you."
"He has a plan, a blessed syllabus for your life, and its always charted from the inside out."
"Faith is being sure of what we hope for.. and certain of what we do not see." - Hebrews 11:1
"I used alcohol and drugs to numb the pain of my wounds. And, as so many other young women do whose hearts have been badly missed or intentionally wounded by their fathers, I turned to boys and then to men for love. At least, I convinced myself, I was wanted .. if only for a night."
"We have all fallen, but at the same time we're not broken. There is this hint that we are going to get up again."
"Its not what you are, Its what you dont become that hurts."
"I dont belive in Perfect Love,.. But I do believe that there are people who's lives are inextricable intertwined."
"You can not simply have me, You must seek me,.. pursue me. I wont let you in unless I know you love me."
"Three types of people in this world.. Them that is.. Them that aint.. Them that thinks they is.. but aint." - Ken Graves; Pastor for Maine.
"Do you believe in magic? I never use to.. I mean .. how could I? 14 and your Mom dies, you hope against hope for magic, something to make it all better. It never comes,.. and you look for your father who's unable to overcome all his tragic flaws,.. well no abracadabra there. And there them.. well any magic that was there, that ran out didnt it?!.. But then.. theres HIM.. Thers proof that someone out there is thinking of me.. My friend.. who was with me always.. Its pure Magic."
"Any fool can love somebody whos perfect, somebody who does everything right. But that doesnt stretch your soul.. Your soul only gets stretched when you can still love after they have hurt you."
"He has a plan, a blessed syllabus for your life, and its always charted from the inside out."
"Faith is being sure of what we hope for.. and certain of what we do not see." - Hebrews 11:1
"I used alcohol and drugs to numb the pain of my wounds. And, as so many other young women do whose hearts have been badly missed or intentionally wounded by their fathers, I turned to boys and then to men for love. At least, I convinced myself, I was wanted .. if only for a night."
"We have all fallen, but at the same time we're not broken. There is this hint that we are going to get up again."
"Its not what you are, Its what you dont become that hurts."
"I dont belive in Perfect Love,.. But I do believe that there are people who's lives are inextricable intertwined."
"You can not simply have me, You must seek me,.. pursue me. I wont let you in unless I know you love me."
"Three types of people in this world.. Them that is.. Them that aint.. Them that thinks they is.. but aint." - Ken Graves; Pastor for Maine.
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