Family.. what is family?

Family… what is family?....

I feel like the word demonstrates a bond that is unbreakable, that people are so connected to each other in so many different ways no one would even dream of breaking it. Family to me seems to be something that demonstates unconditional LOVE.. also.

Of course that’s just what I think FAMILY should be… unfortunately I think we all know its never really that way at all, theres always someone who is going to run there mouth, theres always someone who is going to coward away from a serious situation, there is always someone who will lie to your face, someone who thinks there better then the rest, theres always someone who will screw you over in any and every area of your life if they know it will make them feel good about themselves… and then theres the black sheep…. The ones who are different from the rest, and sometimes are judged negatively… which is expected … because who really wants to take the time to understand that the life that they live isn’t the life someone else wants… that’s a hard thing to deal with… ?

Anyways.. what does that have to do with anything Im about to write… not to sure. But my family I think was put into a bit of shock yesterday, for the fact that an Uncle remarried…. 3 months after his wife died…. Its true, everyone should be happy. I believe it.. Id hate to not want to be happy, who could live that way?... everyone DOES deserve to be happy, but when your happiness effects others happiness… in a very low down negative way… its NOT good. You see, his wife had 5 children, the youngest ones I believe are about to be 18 or already are… THEY JUST LOST THERE MOTHER! They are STILL LIVING WITH MY UNCLE!!! And he goes and remarries, someone he supposedly JUST met…. If that’s the case we could argue on that… what the heck is wrong with you!?!? Who marries someone they just met, especially after loosing there wife only a few months back. And if there’s more behind the story.. like they were together before my Aunt died…. Well.. that just speaks for itself.

I am only venting on this because Ive been there, I have watched my perfect family crash and burn when my mother left us. Well technically she didn’t leave us, she was just in vegetable state… for a year and half… but it didn’t take my father to long to jump into someone elses arms…. And that’s a story that doesn’t need to be drudged up. But I know what its like.. to feel that hurt of loosing my mother.. and then not only that but watching the male figure in my life.. fail. It hurts. Its painful and horrible thing to have to cope with.. but then again I was only 14, these kids are much older and probably much more mature then I was at the time. My hopes are that they arnt hateful towards this.. but that they can forgive and move on.. but don’t forget. Don’t forget that this is something YOU DON’T want to do,… don’t be weak .. don’t be afraid of being alone.. because you are NEVER alone.

I feel for my uncle in a way.. I have to. I have to because hes family…. Unconditional love.. correct? I feel that in some crazy way I understand why he did it.. doesn’t mean I think its right.. not at all. I look back at my fathers situation … the actions he took and the things he did that ripped my heart out.. and how I HAD LOST MY MOM and he just added more to that… and it took me 7 years to finally realize that…. He lost his wife. He lost the woman who kept him on the ground and stable and safe for years. He just lost her.. she was gone and not coming back.. and no matter how many tears we cried and prayers we prayed… I think we all knew that her being in a vegetable state.. was not going to change.. and she was never going to be Mom .. again. I feel for my Uncle because I know hes hurting too.. I know that he lost his wife.. the woman he decided to spend his life with, the woman whos kids became his.. Despite everything that he may have done wrong or right… he still took them as his own… He didn’t run and hide from the situation, he obviously loved his wife enough to take on all that came with her.. …. Basically what Im saying… is he hurts too… and he unfortunately needed to fill the new void in his life.. and this is how he did it. And it hurt some people.. and some people have found it to be GREAT….

So.. what is family ? …..

Heres my new answer….. family is having people in your life who really DO love you and will fight with you tooth and nail to see you do the right thing, family is the people who take you in and let you eat there food and live in there home until you get your feet back on the ground, family is the ones who drop everything to come to your rescue… and for me.. family is when they have to let you go and give you to God because theres nothing more they can do….. and honestly… that takes a lot. To let the ones you love.. go. Thank God for providing me with an amazing brother, sister in law and neieces who I live with and keep me in a straight line..

I have suffered with my family for years.. but finally the last couple years I have been able to see past there flaws.. and that’s because… well…. God forgave me for all the horrible things I have done.. so who am I to hold something against someone in my family.. who am I to think I have the right to be mad? Who am I to think I have some sort of say in how they are dealt with…. Some people may say.. “But sarah you didn’t do something like this? “ … and that’s right, I have never been put in that kind of situation so of course I havnt done something like that.. but I have done other things that have hurt people and hurt myself… Sin is sin in Gods eyes.. and no sinner is any different then the next....